Dear Ratface,
I was at the Squat-n-Gobble yesterday, and the waiter brought me pancakes without any butter. I asked for butter, and he apologized and quickly brought plenty. How would you have handled the situation. -Hot Cakes
Dear Hot Cakes,
Pancakes are a breakfast food. The ritual of breakfast is traditionally observed in the morning. A time when Ratface has better things to do. Much better things to do. Like sleep. I don't really give a rat's fart if there's butter on my pancakes or not. But let's say for the sake of discussion a server in a fine dining establishment screwed up my order and didn't bring me butter on my pancakes. I woulda grabbed that fool's hand and smacked it down on the table. No butter, says I. Then I quickdraw a dagger and stab it through the guys hand deep into the table. Then says I, go fetch me some butter boy. And while he's standing there stuck and squealin I slowly pull out an axe and take careful aim at his wrist. I'm betting they get free right about then. And for added amusement, I'd wolf down the pancakes before they could bring the butter. Mop up the guy's blood with em. Delicious, says I. -Ratface
