Sunday, September 21, 2008

Envy

Dear Ratface,

Sometimes I sure wish I was you. Or at least lived in your world. Like today for example. This person of authority was being really really stupid. They were making me very very angry. I would have really liked to have been able to throw them under a train. But society is far to civilized to allow that sort of behavior. -Envious

Dear Envious,

It might come as a surprise but I don't kill everyone who pisses me off. Stupid people have their uses. Meat shields, for one. Give the bad guys something to shoot at besides myself. Useful. Here's a little thought I find useful when dealing with some armored freak who's been hit in the head with blunt objects a few too many times: In a few hours you won't be angry any more, but they'll still be stupid. -Ratface

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Oxymoron

Dear Ratface,

Now that fourth edition is available, I was wondering. What's it like to be a washed up has been? There are no barbarians in fourth edition. Nor are there half-orcs. There are still rogues. But they're very different beasts. Are you some sort of shade now? Relegated to satirical comic references to previous once loved games? -Smarmy

Dear Smarmy,

I've got your satire right here, boy. Come get it. Rest assured. You can sleep soundly at night knowing that I am exactly what I have always been. Except now I prowl for you. -Ratface