Dear Ratface,
I know this guy who's hugely immensely obese. I'm always tempted to say, "Hi Fatty!". Have you ever engaged in the activity known as fat paddling? Is it as much fun as it sounds? - Wabalawabala
Dear Wabalawabala,
Hugely immensely obese? Ha! I had a job once involving a king. A hugely immensely obese king. In the vernacular. I was gonna get paid extra if it looked like an accident. As opposed to an axe-ident. If you catch my meaning. So there I was hiding in the royal bedchambers waiting for them to wheel the king's bed in from the throne room. No lie. The guy was so fat he never left his bed. They just moved it around with him on it. Eventually, he chased away all the servants. Except the queen. He tells her she talks to much and gives her a look. She gives him a look right back. And a big ole sigh. Then she starts rootin' around at the bottom of this mountain of flesh. He's quite distracted. And she can't see a thing behind this wall of blubber. So i just stroll up. Grab one of his chins. And wrap it over his face. Not exactly fat paddling. But whatever. He's finished. She's finished. I'm finished. Problem was. It looked too natural. The customer needed a little persuasion to cough up the bonus. If you catch my meaning. -Ratface
